“Don’t wait too long to appreciate your parents.” Rabbi Dr. Bernhard Rosenberg
3 years old My daddy and Mommy can do anything 5 years old My Daddy and Mommy are really smart 6 years old My Daddy and Mommy are smarter than yours. 8 years old. My daddy and mommy know everything 9 years old In the ancient days when my parents grew up, things were very different 11 years old My parents are so old they don’t remember being children 13 years old Don’t pay any attention to my parents. They are simply old fashioned. They belong in the dark ages. 21 years old. Who can cope with them? They are totally out of touch with reality. 28 years old Maybe I should call my parents. They do have more experience than I do. 35 years old Am I glad I spoke to my parents. I could have really messed this one up. 40 years old. I wish Dad was alive. I need his business advice. 45 years old I wonder how my parents would have handled it? How in the world did they cope? I feel as if the world is caving in on me . They must have been super human. I would give anything if I could only talk to them again. Too bad I didn’t realize how smart they were. I could have learned so much more from them. I hope my children will be smarter than I was. 58 years old . I wish my children had bubie and Zedie to hold them. Almost 69 Thank G-d I have 4 marvelous children , a fantastic wife and 9 delicious grandchildren. To be continued….. I hope.
Say NO to unforgiveness, do not let your past effect your health and future.
What do you do when you are offended; hurt by others people words or actions?
I believe we all been hurt in some point of our life, maybe betrayed, and disappointed by a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend or even a brother, sister.
You would agree that after any offense you get ANGRY, BITTER, you start automatically to dislike that person maybe even hate, wish him the worst.
You see all these negative emotions IF NOT deal properly are very dangerous to your HEALTH as well to close people around you. Know this;
UNFORGIVENESS WILL MAKE AND KEEP YOU SICK
Have you ever seen a beautiful apple and when you cut it in half you find it is rotten. Simply anger and bitterness eats away at us from the inside. We do not see it and we simply do not realize that and some people carry the bitterness through their whole entire life.
How anger, hate resentment, bitterness hurt us;
All these negative emotions have one thing in common; they trigger stress reaction and as we stress, a big amount of cortisol and adrenaline is released into the blood stream. This is a natural stress reaction. It is called fight or flight. After the threat is gone, the stress hormones are cleared from our body. BUT carrying around a load of anger and hate, desire for revenge, feeling of hurt keep all these stress hormones active in our body and over a long time results in a damage to our body. Our arteries are being damage; the plaque buildup starts to form. The heart begins to suffer. Also your immune system is down which make you vulnerable to any disease (your body is simply not able to fight any disease) .Being stressed makes you feeling tired, worn down, it disrupts the harmony of brain waves, gives you sleepless nights also will lead you to anxiety and depression as well to addiction (because at some point your going to find yourself so miserable to ease the pain you may look for a relief in alcohol, drugs etc.).
The quality of life with unforgiveness; your life inside as well outside is affected, it definitely robs you of your joy, you can longer enjoy life because most of the time you spend you think about the offense or offender. You basically can’t move forward with your life, think clearly, or make a good decision.
It also affects the people around you, for example if you are mad at your brother or sister, your whole family suffers.
Healthy new relationships are not possible. Why? Because you will bring that anger and bitterness to that new relationship and it’s not fun. REMEMBER,
You can never live in the present well if you stuck in the past.
IF YOU THINK that by holding to unforgiveness you are accomplishing something YOU ARE WRONG .YES, you want the offender to be punished or feel guilty or ashamed, but unforgiveness does not accomplish the goal you think the ONLY person it hurts the most is YOU.
What can you do about it, find the COURAGE to forgive. It is not easy. It is a process and the CHOICE you can take.
What is forgiveness? It is letting go of grudges and bitterness and thoughts of revenge. What forgiveness is not? Forgiveness is not justifying other actions or denying the hurt (otherwise your wounds will never heal). It’s not forgetting it (for example how you can forget if your brother got killed by a drunk driver). .
Say NO to unforgiveness, do not let your past effect your health and future.
KINGS AND QUEENS, PAWNS AND KNIGHTS: THE ‘GLATT GAME’
“THE SHIDDUCH CRISES”
The Jewish populace seems too busy confronting themselves to realize that there is a shidduch, the tragedy before them. All of us are engaged in the “I am Frumer (more religious) Than Thou Game.”
Yes, the chess game of the Jewish people does exist and it consists of numerous players including Kings, Queens, Pawns and Knights. Let us analyze these players. The Kings and Queens are found everywhere. They are better known as the “Better Than Thou” contingency representing, with nose held high, the so-called “ultra ultra”, whose main function in life is to supervise and interpret the motives of others.
The J.A.P., a term which applies equally to both sexes, reigns supreme. A true J.A.P. is one whose true emotions and feelings of dedication and idealism are hidden under the heavy burden of appeasing self-righteous motives. Is it any wonder that some young Jewish singles seek elsewhere?
AND YES, let us not forget the elite, the “Yechis (status) Seekers”. “Remember my son, you belong to a righteous family; avoid the Baal Tshuvah (a non-observant Jew who became religious), after all they may change their ways. Remember who you are and where you came from.”
And if these were not sufficient, the Kings and Queens engage themselves in the “I AM GLATTER THAN THOU PAGENTRY.’ This requires the ability to openly criticize others regarding their mode of dress, their eating patterns, recognized certified Kosher products are not acceptable, the fictitious Glatt pickle is preferred, and, of course, an open attach against religious leaders, their ammunition being the infamous non-existent 14th century Chumrah (strict legal view) entitles one to acquire membership in this select group. The only problem is that no one wants to be a follower and thus the leaders continue quoting profound statements found in the tractate “Buba Meisah (fairy tales).”
Now, the heroic Knight enters the arena. This individual, male or female, traditionally minded and filled with the love of Torah, wages an heroic campaign. The Knights are represented by clergy and lay leadership who open their hearts to Jewish young people communicating the love and harmony of the Torah. Numerous Rabbis are fighting on the front lines to create a vibrant Jewish community. Young people are engaged in Shabbatonim, retreats and seminars in an active attempt to spread Yiddishkeit; yet, too often, Jewish organizations seem more interested in the establishment of plush swimming pools than in financing such religious projects a community mikvah (ritual bath).
THESE KNIGHTS, however are confronted by numerous foes. Rabbis are challenged by the Glatt contingent whose battle cry seems to be “The Mechitzah (separation between men and women in the synagogue sanctuary) is not high enough.” Some musmochim (rabbinical school graduates) forget that they are not the leaders of the congregation and consider Shabbat and Yom Tov a day to play “Challenge the Spiritual Leader.” Others are more compassionate; instead of aiding the Rabbi, they just lean back awaiting the opportunity to privately render their illustrious Psak Din (Legal decree). This is the prelude to the “Let’s create another Shtibbel (synagogue) game”, starring these above mentioned unassuming geniuses of Jewish Law.
Forgetting the great “Tuna Fish and Bubble Gum Controversy” of yesteryear, let us turn to other significant and crucial issues. The agunah, divorce and conversion procedures, together with the existing problems of Mamzeres require our immediate attention. Yet, they too cannot escape the “I am glatter than thou game.” We are informed that a sanhedrin (universal Rabbinical Court) is needed in order to solve many of our numerous halachic difficulties. The only problem, of course, is that we cannot agree on membership to the Sanhedrin.
Why is there a Shidduch crises? Perhaps it is because in the chess game of life, it is the PAWN who suffers the most.
THE TORAH holds the answers to all our questions; however, human beings, with G-d’s help, are needed to overcome so called obstacles.
If only we, the pursuers of Torah knowledge, would realize that the battle is immense and the time is short. Instead of playing the Glatt Game called “Frumer than Thou,” let us communicate love and knowledge , let us act in the image of G-d; only then will we be worthy to be called Frum Yidden who walk in the “Glatt path”. In the words of Rav Kook, “Just at the Second Temple was destroyed by acts of brotherly hatred, the third Temple will be built by acts of brotherly Love.”